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Widows Quest

What Can Help?

by marlene on April 20th, 2006

We all grieve differently, and what helps and comforts one person may not help another. After my husband’s death, I found that people often tried to help me in ways that were right for them, but wrong for me.

Don’t be afraid to let those around you know the kind of help you need. Learn to lean on them, even if it’s only temporarily, and don’t feel you are bothersome. Most importantly, seek out people who allow you to share your feelings openly and honestly. Sometimes well-meaning family, friends and even health professionals feel more comfortable if we seem to be “doing well”. Doing well has no schedule and you do not have to grieve the way others think you should. 

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POSTED IN: Grief

2 opinions for What Can Help?

  • Kate
    Apr 20, 2006 at 12:52 pm

    I think it would also help if people were specific about the kind of help they can give and leaving the door open for people to take you up on the offer, or not. Like, drives to meetings, meals, help with babysitting or gardening.

  • marlene
    Apr 22, 2006 at 7:33 am

    Good suggestion, Kate. A homecooked meal or a couple of hours of babysitting help can be an incredible gift to a widow, especially during the first few weeks.

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