Welcome Jessica, we are here for you
I wrote a post called Who I am, or More Accurately Who am I and Jessica left a comment which will resonate to all widows and widowers out there, including
“There is only me and I will turn 60 in July without my best friend (and younger spouse) there beside me. I don’t think I have a day where the tears do not well up. I am so alone and so lonely, too.”
Loneliness is awful, it is like a stream running through your body, swirling around and catching you off guard. I want to stress that this blog is home to all people suffering with grief….a home where we can all come and help each other. So often friends and family live away - as with me - and you don’t know where to turn….there is always a friend here for you…..who will understand.
Readers will know that I have ups and downs…..I hope the ups help to show you that there is hope, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I hope the downs show that all your feelings are natural, that you are not alone.
Two things that have helped me that may help Jessica
- It helps to have some sound in the house. I listen to podcasts, the radio, the TV anything to make it feel that there is someone else around in the house.
- It helps me to set some exercise goals…I take a walk each day or go to the gym. The reason is that it gives me a goal, it gives me a sense of achievement at the same time as helping my body become healthier.
Jessica - you are not alone. We are here to support and feel free to share your thoughts in the comments. Sometimes just writing your thoughts down helps….you as well as others.
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Tags: best friend, exercise goals, friend, Grief, healthier, Loneliness, Guilt & Depression, stress, widowers, widowsRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Grief
4 opinions for Welcome Jessica, we are here for you
Irena
Jun 5, 2008 at 10:29 am
In the beginning sound is important but then you’ll gradually start being comfortable with your own thoughts. You won’t be dependent on the music, or songs or t.v. Ofcourse turn them on for rest and relaxation but not because you are dependent. Your solitude will become apeaceful friend with whom you can share words and thoughts. No I am not mad. I have found great comfort in this myself. A time will come when you will hurry home to savour the solitary quiet of your home. Make it comfortable and restful.
Jessica
Jun 6, 2008 at 7:38 am
Thank you, both. I just posted another comment, not realizing that someone would read and refer to a comment made on a much older posting. Thank you for responding. Women are always so supportive of other women, and I thank God for being of this gender.
I know that widowed men remarry very soon, but I think women soldier on alone because of our network of support. And the ‘net has expanded that, and I found you all just when I needed you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
anna
Jun 6, 2008 at 2:30 pm
I don’t know about you but just having online friends help. I think supporting others help me ….somehow reaching out provides some comfort. I am so glad you are sharing your thoughts as they have helped me during a one of my bad few weeks. Thank you
Jessica
Jun 8, 2008 at 8:36 am
Anna, when did you resume exercising (or begin it, if this was a new thing with you)? I have so much to do and do not get home until 7 pm. It is all I can do to reheat something for an evening meal. I live in Houston, TX, and it is much too hot for a walk, but I do have a stationery bicycle as well as a Nordic track (ski machine). I do need to exercise, I do know that. It is just dredging up the will to do so….
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