Taking Control of our Lives
When you suffer loss, for me it is the lack of control that causes the depression. Why did it happen? Why did a good man get taken from this world? What could I have done differently? What if we had……
Death is something that you cannot control, it happens and there is little we could do about it.
So to get through it I would encourage anyone to understand that you cannot control what has happened….you can control how you cope, how you move forward. To start to feel better, you need to find a way of feeling more in control again. Some things that helped me with the control were:-
- Finding a way to build a memorial - a way of the world remembering his life.
- Take responsibility for my own happiness.
- Setting small targets to achieve each day - not big! Things like getting showered and dressed were on
my very first list!! - Setting a plan for how I was going to cope financially
As I set these goals, it helped me feel back in control of my own destiny, back in control of my emotions. Not that I am saying that emotions don’t take over me from time to time but that is OK too - I see that as control as well, that I allow myself the bad days.
Tags: bereavement, blog-carnival, changing-your-life, death, depression, Grief, losing-your-spouse, mourning, personal-finance, positive-thinking, widowRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Comfort Yourself
3 opinions for Taking Control of our Lives
Tiffany
May 17, 2007 at 4:37 pm
Anna,
I have had a hard six months, I lost my fiancé, a friend of mine lost her 26 year old son, and another friend of mine has had two miscarriages, one of which was today (it would have been triplets.) I have always been the person who fixes things. When ever someone needed something they came to me and I got it done. Over the last six months I have had to relinquish that control and say to my self “there is nothing I could have done to change this” and that has been the most difficult thing for me. Admitting that there is nothing I could have done to prevent his death. And trying to come to terms with the fact that I can not take away all the pain my friends and family have encountered no matter how much I would like to. Taking control of what I can actually change is my battle, and doing the little things to make people smile are what I found make my day.
anna
May 21, 2007 at 4:22 am
A wonderful comment, that acceptance is so key
There is nothing I could have done…..
May 21, 2007 at 4:27 am
[…] wrote a blog post last week called Taking Control of Our Lives and received this comment from regular commenter Tiffany which further shows how hard the […]
Have an opinion? Leave a comment: