January 14th, 2006
The Importance of Support
This site at b5media is about rebuilding your life as a widow. There is a future and you can build it. But it is not primarily intended as a site for support of the newly-widowed woman. There are many tears to be shed before the possibility of reinventing yourself can even cross your mind.
It is very important for you to find support if you have just lost your husband. This is not an easy journey, and it is much harder if you try to go it alone. There are different options. You need to know you are not alone in this vast valley of darkness and that other women are going through this as well. Although, this will not erase the pain or change what happened, it will help more than you can possibly know to reach out to another. It may be the only way out of the kind of grief that is totally disabling.
Options For Support
- A real-life support group in your community is the best option. Face to face interaction with other women will ease the isolated feeling that comes along a couple of weeks after the funeral. Check with your local hospital and other volunteer organizations. The funeral home may have a list of resources as well.
- Online support groups can be very helpful. Although they are seldom moderated by a grief counselor, just talking can ease the situation. An email list that is devoted to widows gives a woman a place to go crazy without judgment. It is also a good resource for ideas when it is hard to think straight.
- Support sites that are dedicated to assisting people during a loss are one of the best options a widow (or anyone who has lost a loved one) can find. There are many on the net, some better than others, but the important thing is to find the one that is a good fit for you. I recommend Beyond Indigo, but there are others that might be a better match for you.
I was widowed in 2002. I also was, with the exception of my family, pretty much left to my own devices. I found that people seem to view “widowed” as a contagious disease. They don’t know what to say, so they say nothing. It isn’t their fault - it is just a quality of human nature. People are afraid; if it happened to you, it can happen to them. It is easier to pretend it isn’t there.
You will rebuild your life. You may not think so, and you may not even want to at this point, but it will happen. You won’t be the same woman. This kind of change, whether it is sudden or expected, alters a person forever. Just don’t forget, you will make it and you are NOT alone.
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