Widows Quest

Personal Reflection to Move from Survival to Living again

by anna on December 13th, 2006

When you are coping with the death of a loved one, you are often faced with constant jobs to be performed, constant visits from family and friends. I have found that it is also important to find time for your own self reflection…as it comes to the end of the year, sit down and reflect on what has happened, how the bereavement has changed your life, how grief has changed you as a person. Here are some thoughts

Resolve that you have faced up to the grief, faced up to the loss. You have survived, you are still hurting but YOU have coped. Your life is still “alive” and think about 5 things that you want to do, achieve, enjoy in the next 12 months…resolve to do them in the next year. Your loved one would not want you to give up, they would want you to carry on living and find happiness….write down 5 dreams and make them reality. 

Explore how you have changed. Grief changes your outlook on life, and makes you take stock. You will have grown as a person due to the emotional rollercoaster that you have been through. Think about how you have changed and how that will change your future thinking.

Find your photographs and remember the great times, the happiness that love had brought you. Those memories should never be forgotton even if they make you cry, the tears are an emotional release for your heart.

Letting go. At some point and as hard as it is, you have to let go of the death at some point. You don’t let go of the love or the memories but you need to let go of the event….it won’t change, you cannot bring them back…let go to allow yourself to cope.

Expression. In the modern world sometimes we are rushing around so much that we forget to tell our loved ones how much we love them, how much we care…..think about how you can change this and free up your emotions in the future.

Celebrate how you have coped, how you have surprised yourself, how you have hurt, cried but you have survived one day at a time.

Take time to set some goals of how you will change the time you spend on relationships in the future, love is precious and can be taken from us far too quickly. Losing someone makes you realise that you need to invest time now so that you never regret in the future….

Share This

Related Stories

“Reflecting” on reflection in grief
Life is about change
Funerals - The Best and Worst of Human Nature
Inspiration to Move Through the Grief Cycle
Carnival of Positive Thinking

POSTED IN: Comfort Yourself, Grief, Loneliness, Guilt & Depression, Positive Changes