Loneliness - Fact or Feeling?
I was listening to an album from The Feeling which inspired me to think about loneliness. As a widow you can feel incredibly lonely….however when you think about it lonely is a fact not an emotion ?
You are alone….so lonely is not an “if or a but” it is a fact…you are now alone with your life. Why is that important well, when it is a fact you can do something about it don’t you think? You can visit a friend, family or even join a club to make you “not alone”
Sometimes when I feel lonely I think I see it as an illness or some type or a condition 
but when you think about it, it is no more than a fact. I am hoping by seeing it in this way I can take control and change the fact. If I change the fact then hopefully it will change the feeling - does that make sense?
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Tags: join a club, Loneliness, Guilt & Depression, lonely, the feeling, widowRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Affirmations of Life
5 opinions for Loneliness - Fact or Feeling?
leslie
Jul 6, 2008 at 10:59 am
My husband died June 2nd. He retired Dec.31st and on Jan. 3rd was diagnosed with a brain tumour. We had been together since high school. Some days are not too bad but others are horrible. Today my daughter wanted me to go with her and her family to her in-laws’ place for a barbecue which was sort of a family reunion. I know they always ask me to go with them because they don’t want me to be lonely. However, I declined today. I know she doesn’t understand but I find that sometimes I feel lonelier in a crowd than by myself. Today everybody there would have somebody and I find that I feel just worse about everything then. I told her that at the end of the day I still have to turn the key in my front door and go into an empty house and I hope she never has to experience this. I don’t know how to cope with these feelings. I want to be strong for everybody else but sometimes I just can’t
Suzanne
Jul 6, 2008 at 1:02 pm
good post
Vic Brown
Jul 8, 2008 at 9:44 am
Alone: [adj] separate, apart, or isolated from others
Lonely: [adj] 1. affected with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone; lonesome.
2. destitute of sympathetic or friendly companionship, intercourse, support, etc.
Hi Anna, I see being alone as a fact, while lonely is a feeling. The dictionary definitions above lend us some clues as to how to remedy these conditions.
It has been my experience that losing my spouse meant that I had a whole host of needs that were no longer being met. My recovery has been a series of steps to creatively find new ways of getting my needs met. One of those needs is friendly companionship, and I made some mistakes along the way, but I have now succeeded in getting that need met.
The lonely depression I experienced for many months resulted from being aware of how my needs were not getting met and doing nothing to change this. In its own perfect time, I began working toward getting my needs met, and the depression lifted. Just my two cents, but hopefully this helps ;-)
anna
Jul 9, 2008 at 4:37 am
What wonderful comments and words that I really understand. I especially relate to feeling lonely in a crowd. I think loneliness is a horrendous feeling but one that will ease over time.
Our loved ones are people that we share values, experiences and life with and when they leave us there is a gap. That gap makes sense but maybe we need to think about what a gap is….. a gap is a space that CAN be filled when we open ourselves to the possibility? At times I cannot see how anyone else can fill that gap, but when I look round and see how other widows and widowers have successfully found a way…then I feel there is hope for the future. Does that take away the pain…absolutely not but it does give me reason to believe.
Loneliness - Even in a Crowd
Jul 9, 2008 at 5:01 am
[…] Loneliness - Fact or Feeling was a post I wrote at the weekend. There were some wonderful comments and one comment from Leslie who said […]
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