Widows Quest

Heartbreak University

by anna on April 10th, 2007

I used to think that losing someone was “upsetting” - now I have lost people close I realise that grief is so much more than that….and a huge learning experience. It is an examination of your own soul. Tougher than any other exam that you may take! Here are my “lessons” from the Heartbreak University!

E= Ending. Your life is made up of chapters, as one chapter closes another one starts…..your life may seem as though it has ended, but it is not your life - it is just that chapter of your life.

D= Dialogue. Talking about your feelings might be hard, it can sometimes be easier to shut them away. You want to appear as though you are coping, I did all that! Then I started to talk about my feelings in a positive way, how I was going to deal with grief and how I would use this in a good way - like helping others, for instance. Don’t keep your emotions bottled up, find a channel that suits you - friends, support groups, blogging and let those emotions out.

U= Understand the grief process, understand all the stages so that you can recognise  your progress. Congratulate yourself for moving through and take pride in your progression.

C= Coping. We all cope differently. I share ways that I have coped and love it when people leave comments on the blog that are different. The key is what works for YOU. Find your way no matter how strange it may seem to other people.

A= Action. We all feel the pain, we all feel lost, depressed and hurt. The only way to move forward is by taking small steps….taking an action each day, keeps the depression away!

T= Time is a great healer. It is an overused phrase but time heals the pain through accepting what has happened. Don’t rush yourself, people take different amounts of time. You are unique and will have the timescale that suits you.

E= Enjoying life again does happen! You may have lost the love of your life, but you need to accept the death and not feel guilty about laughing and smiling, you deserve to be happy and your loved one would want that too.

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POSTED IN: Grief