Facing Retirement without Your Loved One
I received a lovely email from a reader called Sheila (thank you for your kind words) who said
“I have just lost my husband after 35 years of marriage. I am due to retire from my job in 6 months and I know feel lost, I was looking forward to retirement and now I am dreading it - have you any ideas?”
Sheila, retirement is a tough part of life even when you don’t lose your spouse. We often look forward to it and then we get there and think….what now? I will give you some ideas about facing retirement in itself, rather than the grief part which I write about regularly.
John Mosedale, author of “The First Year, A Retirement Journal” points out that not having a job any longer can mean a loss of self-esteem and a lessened sense of worth. Mosedale says it’s important to figure out
- Who you really are before you retire, and I certainly agree. It’s important to realize that you are far more than what you do at work, no matter how committed you are to your work.
You have a few months to plan how you are going to enjoy your retirement by
- Cultivating interests, hobbies.
- Planning how you will keeping busy
- Setting and achieving meaningful goals
- Planning how to maintain good health and exercise
- Making a list of achievements you want to enjoy during retirement
Having a plan will give you a purpose in life which can often be an issue when you retire. The important thing is to plan now - it will have the added benefit of focusing your mind on the future to help you with your present grief. I would ask yourself
- What sort of retirement would you like to have?
- What do you see yourself doing, in order to enjoy your retirement?
Once you have written that down write an action plan of how to get from where you are now to making your answers to the above a reality.
I hope this helps Sheila and I am so sorry about your loss - planning sounds hard work, but as I said it will give you something positive to think about now and also ensure that when the day comes when you leave your job, you are mentally ready for the new experience.
Tags: bereavement, death, Grief, how-to-come-through-depression, retirement-planning, terminal-illness, widowRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Practical Tips on Grief
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