Widows Quest

Dying can be a relief

by anna on December 20th, 2006

I received an email from someone that I thought I would share with you all - again I have changed the names for anonymity.

 ”Anna

I have been reading your blog for many weeks, and have gained so much comfort from your writing. One area that you haven’t touched on is death being a release. My husband had been ill for over 2 years and in the last 6 months could not  talk or interact. I have to say my reaction when he passed away was relief, not because I didn’t love him with all my heart, but because he had died many months earlier. He lay their suffering, and in fact it wasn’t him it was a body.

Maybe I should feel guilty but when I was at his bedside when he died, I was happy, I was relieved. A bereavement doesn’t always have to be depression, sometimes if you are watching the one you love suffer…death can be a good thing. Maybe I sound heartless, but I hope you know that I loved Bill more than anyone will ever know….it may have been a relief to not seeing him suffer anymore but I still miss him every day.”

My response is that I don’t think that you are heartless at all, I can fully understand the relief. What had happened here is that you had faced his dying for the 2 years prior, you went through the grief cycle during the last months. There is no right and wrong way of losing someone….and I would like to thank you for sharing this story with us all, and I am sure Bill would be proud of the dignity which you have faced his loss.

Share This

Related Stories

Oscar dying performance!
The Lawn Relief
Grieving a sibling’s death
What is Life?
Our thoughts and love are with you, Trish

POSTED IN: Grief, Loneliness, Guilt & Depression, Pragmatic Issues