Widows Quest

Courage brings Joy

by anna on September 29th, 2006

Last week I had the privilege of watching Darren Clarke help the European team lift the Ryder Cup, the largest golfing tournament in the world. Why do I mention this?

Well, for those of you who don’t know Darren lost his wife Heather a few weeks ago after a long fight against cancer. Darren was devasted, heartbroken, unable to function at all. His friends implored him to make the Ryder Cup his comeback event, he did not know what to do but he knew what Heather would have wanted…for him to compete. He took on the challenge and openly showed his emotion - plenty of tears at the end of each match but it showed me…

G = Grief is emotional. There is no shame in tears. Darren - a real man’s man - did this in front of the world. Tears are your hearts safety valve…emotion easing the pain. Never be afraid to cry, not even in public.

O = Onwards and upwards. Darren showed that life carries on, not in the same way but it does carry on. Facing up to the loss and taking that first step outside was probably one of the toughest things he has ever had to do. But moving on is necessary, it is not about forgetting it is about learning to live without your spouse. Often there is children, and they still have a life ahead. Darren’s role now is to ensure that those children learn to live and love - just like Heather would have wanted.

L = Love is eternal. Darren clearly was playing for Heather. Heather may have gone but he knew what she would have wanted and that she is in his heart as much today as when they first met.

F = Friends are their to provide love and support. Tiger Woods constantly phoned him and gave him the support that he needed. Friends want you to survive and will do everthing to help you through the loss.

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POSTED IN: Grief