Widows Quest

Children Grieve Differently

by anna on April 3rd, 2008

My friend lost her husband just over a year ago, and has had significant problems with one of her children. She was been very withdraw from her set of friends, so I was interested to see on the Daily Gazette this a grief statistic that said

“Statistics show that one children in every seven will experience the death of an immediate family member by the age of 10.”

It also goes on to say

“Children do not express their grief in the same way adults do, but that doesn’t mean they do not grieve, Crea said. “If you’re old enough to love, you’re old enough to grieve,”

I was speaking to my friend about this and it came clear that she was helping her child to cope with grief as an adult would……she had forgotten to think like her child. I think this is vital, putting yourself in the mind of your child.

She has started to draw with her and also communicate through music…so yesterday she asked her to play a song that expressed how she felt. This kind of change has helped to break through the barrier. She is even thinking of learning the guitar with her child as a way of building on the connection.

As widows we can often get so lost in our own grief that we subconsciously forget the feelings of those around us. Often thinking about how our loved ones are coping can be a positive step in our own rehabilitation.

Do you have children? How are they coping? 

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POSTED IN: Grief