Widows Quest

A tale of hope and survival

by anna on November 21st, 2006

A few years ago I was called by the hospital to say that my friend was asking for me. When I got there she had tried to take her own life - she had been very depressed after losing the love of her life. She wanted no one to know, she said “I had felt it was the only option, it wasn’t a cry for help. I never wanted to be found. I just wanted to go and join him. Just as the sky disappeared I felt enormous fear, before that I had felt calm, serene…happy I was going to him. As the sky disappeared I felt such fear…I don’t know who found me but I am glad they did…I need your help.”

Over the next few months she had some counselling, and gradually regained her life. The reason why I share this with you is twofold

1) She had felt that suicide was what she wanted, the only way to join him. As her life started to fade away she just felt fear, it was not what she wanted. She was lucky, a passing motorist saved her. No matter how you feel that this is an option, there are options. People around you want to help, they don’t want to grieve another lost life.

2) She has now married and has 2 wonderful children. She has never lost her love for her former boyfriend but would she not give up her life now - no way. She hadn’t felt there was any point in living, if that motorist hadn’t stopped she would have never felt the joy that she has now. She is as happy as anyone I know.

The key ingredient was time - allowing herself to grieve and accept that life was not over, it had just changed. Change may be frightening but once you can accept a different future you can start to love and live a full, happy life.

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POSTED IN: Comfort Yourself, Grief, Loneliness, Guilt & Depression